ABOUT
I'm Steve O'Connor and after a 15-year addiction to pornography, I finally got help.
After a series of failed relationships, I finally met the love of my life, who would later become my wife. I had the courage to share with her my challenges. She patiently encouraged me to get help before we got married, and I started therapy for my porn addiction. I participated in a 12-step program which changed my life.
But for years, I struggled with guilt, shame and self-esteem issues. For years, it was like I had the mind of a child in an adult body. My addiction impacted my work, it made me late for important appointments, it made me reactive and not able to handle conflict or stress...
...but despite doing all the "Catholic things", I just couldn't break my habit.
I can remember telling my therapist years ago that I always thought God would cure me of this and one day I would wake up and never struggle in the area again. My therapist asked me, “Did you ever think that God might want you to do something about it?” It never occurred to me that perhaps I was called to be an active participant in my own healing.
Now I'm on a mission to help Catholic men heal from their addiction so they no longer need to feel the shame and pain that comes with this addiction. I bring a Catholic approach to recovery to help my clients break free and learn new ways of handling the daily challenges life brings about.
“A contrite and humble heart, O God, you will not spurn.”
Ps. 51:17
FOR THE WOMEN
WHY HELP
CATHOLIC MEN?
I have a passion for helping Catholic men, who struggle with sex addiction and feel the shame of it all. I combine recovery principles with Catholic faith to help you break free from your porn addiction.
Often times, when you are a faithful Catholic, married life can feel like it is meant to be idyllic. It can almost be idolized as the epitome of life. When reality sets in and married life doesn't seem to solve all problems (including addiction), it can be a very challenging reality to navigate.
I want to help create strong, Catholic marriages from the beginning, and journey with men as they continue to grow and their families grow too.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
A: When it comes to addiction and changing human behavior, it's so important to understand that grace is the true change agent. We cannot do it on our own, and God wants our participation. We need God, and God desires our good. My work and coaching is grounded in this understanding of the whole human person, and God's merciful love. The richness of the Catholic faith will play an integral part of the weekly calls. There are many recovery options online but to incorporate the faith into recovery brings it full circle and is rare to find.
A: Yes, you can. And I tried doing it on my own as well. And while watching a great talk or reading a series of articles can be so helpful, what I believe is most critical to healing from pornography addiction is an action plan, and ongoing accountability. I think coaching is such an important component in someone's healing, I did not want to separate it. The weekly meetings help through the highs and lows of our lives.
A: This is for married or single Catholic men. I have a passion for helping men in the Catholic faith find sobriety and lasting recovery. Whether you're single and discerning the priesthood or your future wife, to a married man that can't get rid of this behavior, I am here to help you on this journey.
A: Yes- this help is available to all! I have worked with men of all age groups so please feel welcome.
A: I know how difficult it is to break free. When I was single, I desperately wanted to be free of my behavior, to be dating material. As a newly married man, I didn't want this to be part of my marriage. Pornography has damaging effects and to get the help and the relationship back on track is critical.
A: In our group coaching, you can expect a weekly lesson on new topics and there is time for sharing for each member. This can be uncomfortable for some at first, but what they find is that their sharing and participation helps themselves and the others in the group. They begin to feel a part of something special and not the old feeling of apart from. Most guys develop friendships through these regular meetings. Calls go for one hour
A: They are held weekly via Zoom.
A: I was just like you doing everything I could find in the Church like the sacraments - daily mass, regular confession, adoration, spiritual direction and even a men's group. Unfortunately, I still couldn't shake this addiction. My experience has allowed me to dig deeper to root cause issues while creating practical daily activities for success and regular accountability to maintain this new, healthy way of living.
A: I am a Catholic in good standing. I follow the teachings of the Church and implement the beauty of the Catholic faith into the topics discussed and the suggestions offered.
A: I am certified as a Professional Sex Addiction Professional (PSAP) through IITAP and a certified coach through Noble Health and have experience through the S.A. 12 Step Program of which I am an active member for fourteen years and by the grace of God, sober for over 11 years. I have been in online coaching for four years and through the 12 Step Program, I have worked with upwards of one hundred men directly and have the shared experience with thousands in meeting rooms. I will walk you through what works and what doesn't work in my experience and the experience of others.
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CERTIFICATIONS + TRAININGS
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